When I was young, I had an idea of how to screw over the government and totally get away with it. I’ve never put it into practice (nor do I intend to), but I do feel like sharing it now. Check it out: Let’s say I want to mail Mike Honcho something, but I don’t have any stamps. Ruh roh. Fear not – I write his address as the return address and mine as the one where the addressee would normally go. Then I throw it in the mailbox without postage. What happens to that piece of mail? By all accounts, it would get stamped with “Insufficient Funds” and brought directly to his doorstep, right? (Does everyone know about this already and just never mention it?) Instead of putting my address front and center, I could just put some made up address so it never gets traced back to me. They’d never try to deliver it to the fake address because there’d be no postage. Am I missing something here or is this a simple and foolproof way to stick it to the man? I suppose there might be a limit to the distance one’s trying to mail something via this method. I mean, chances are someone who lives in Paris isn’t dropping off a piece of mail in an Encino mailbox. But how would they know that? Why couldn’t the Parisian be visiting and want to mail something to an American while in the country? I guess the only question that remains is whether looking cheap is worth saving 40-something cents. I can imagine college kids sending things to each other this way across the country and saving several dollars over the course of a semester…if college kids ever sent anything by non-electronic mail anymore.
I thought of this because I had another idea in a similar category, though this one is purely for individual gain and not really at the expense of the government. Here it is: I think I should buy a Town Car with tinted windows. If I’m driving that, is there any chance a cop would pull me over in the carpool lane (unless I’m speeding)? I’m not talking about a limo per se, but something clearly used for transporting people without the ability to see said people. Think of the extra hours of life I’d have each year! I truly believe I’m onto something here. I mean, I’m not gonna do that of course…but still. I’m just sayin’.
Got any “Stick It To ‘Em” schemes of your own? Comment away, my friends!